Thursday, January 10, 2013

On our early run this morning, some of the skirts were discussing what some our rules might look like, in contrast to that of to the Velominati's.  It all basically boiled down to only one rule, not 91, not Ten Commandments, but one rule.  The Only Rule is this, The family comes first.  Now with this rule there are subheadings and an entire alphabet of scenarios to explain why, how, where, and when this rule applies, but for those who are married to a cyclist you know what I'm talking about.

The Only Rule # 1 The family comes first.
a. If you have a hobby, or are training, do it before the house is awake, for example, 5:00 a.m. is acceptable.  This way you don't interrupt everyone's day.

b. If you enter a race, go on a ride or run, the children are yours and you must find a babysitter.  

c. A skirt can never take a sick day off.  You may have the flu, strep, and feel like crap, but you are always responsible for everyone's dinner, homework and laundry.

d. A skirt is always on call. Be prepared to cancel or move your plans on a minute's notice. Your day is always "tentative" because you never know when you might get that call to run your kid's homework to the elementary school, Fed Ex that binder to your husband on his business trip, or have to double back to meet that repair man at the house who suddenly called.

e. If you have a young skirt in the house, educate her.  Give her more to do.  Get her up early and make her eat last.  The more she learns now, the better off she'll be.

f.  Shop at a discount and use coupons. Nothing pleases a skirt more than rolling through the sticky floors of Wall mart saving money and clipping coupons out of newspapers. The more a skirt saves - the less debt at the local bike shop.  

g. Enjoy your quality time with the kids at practices, grocery shopping, piano, dance, swimming, and soccer etc.  Your man is enjoying his quality time riding after work.  You had your time...preferably at 5:00 a.m. with a headlamp and reflective gear.

h.  Be sure to show your delight in taking one for the team.  Embrace it!  Okay, sometimes this can be displayed with slamming doors, glassy stares and the ever-popular silent treatment.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Living in Utah, one might expect jokes about polygamy.  I married a polyvelociped -- a man who shares his life with multiple bikes.  And just as I would imagine that a polygamist, (not that I pretend to know first hand about the practice), would have a unique relationship with a first wife, so too my husband has a special relationship with his "first" bike.  What I mean to say is, the bike he spends the most time with and is the workhorse is definitely his main squeeze.  He perhaps has a different relationship with #2, then #3 and so on.

"They each serve their own purpose," he says.  "The road bike, the cross-bike, the mountain bike, the BMX..."

I can compare his collection to the days of the week underwear.  Every day deserves another bike for a different labeled occasion.  A lot of my friends ride.  Some have kids that ride and compete as well.  You can imaging the inventory beginning to build!  When it comes to men and cycling, again all logic goes out the window.
Decades ago, columnist Erma Bombeck wrote, "Too much of a good thing could be wonderful."   You know what else could be wonderful?....parking your cars inside your garage.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

After thinking about "The Rules" I figured the skirts (as we wives are affectionately referred to) could probably come up with some rules of our own.  But as I mentioned before, the keepers have 90 plus rules and even Moses was atop Mount Sinai conversing with the Lord for days to come up with 10 commandments, so perhaps the Skirts Laws will be forthcoming.

My husband and I just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary last month.  On our first date, we went on a  mountain bike ride up Spanish Fork Canyon.  In essence, I've been together with my husband's bike as long him.  Of course I mean this symbolically.  He would never own the same bike for 23 years, are you insane?  But let me reflect...She was a red, white and blue Shwinn KOM.  I really didn't know anything about biking.  Apparently my bike didn't meet expectations.  My Bionchi mountain bike was inferior.  My old boyfriend had given it to me as a going away present for college.  As soon this new courtship became serious, my bike was upgraded to a StumpJumper.  You've heard the saying, "Friends won't let friends drive drunk."  Well, "Friends won't let friends ride..." ahh, you fill in the blank.